Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
