Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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