a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
