using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
