Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
