I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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