She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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