she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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