How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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