he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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