Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
