New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
