Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Randomize
