I cockslap morals
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
