I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
