The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
