my mouth tastes like poor choices
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Alive.
So much puke
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
