You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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