Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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