lets start a swedish sibling band together
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
