Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I supernannyed him into submission
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
