I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
