you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
