okay pat passed out under dana's car
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
