It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
