Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
