peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i wish my penis had a tongue
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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