Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
