When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
