tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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