my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
