Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
