Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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