can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
