Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
