I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
