On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
