no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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