I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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