Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She bit a glass in half.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
sex in a hospital.. check
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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