just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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