Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
