I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
