I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
