I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
