His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
