OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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