you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
