You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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