jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
