tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
