People in love make me want to vomit
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
