Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
