Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize