I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
