Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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