Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Every concussion has its silver lining
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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