I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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