btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
