If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
