yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
